We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize