i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
did you just send me my own nude
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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