She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
