look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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