Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
it was like eating out sand paper
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
