dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
