i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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