My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
