Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
