What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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