My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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