my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
