I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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