I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it glows. i had to have it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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