My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
