Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
