knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
