well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
