we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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