I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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