I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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