Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
