No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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