Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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