3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
