well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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