Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
