I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
