hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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