WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
