Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize