I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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