My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
