He kissed a someone with a penis
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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