so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize