I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
