we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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