He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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