It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
