So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
