I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
