she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize