How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
