i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
