He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
