Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
