i think i have herpe
just one?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
