Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
