Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
