"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
our cab driver is having phone sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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