Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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