You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
