nut hugger
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
