I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
