in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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