i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize