having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize