Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize