God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize