did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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