The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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