Banned from zoo.
Again?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
