i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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