and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
