Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
