I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
